Friday, August 2, 2013

Day 366 One year has passed - review

So guys. One year has passed and I decided i wanted to
make a review of what happened during that time.

I'll devide it in 3 Steps, which i think will show my progress.
And after that I'll show some Brand new stuff I've been working on.(Diploma Work excluded)




So this is it for the paintings that lead up to what i'm doing now. Those were mostly studies but hopefully there is some Progress to be seen.

Now here are some of the more recent sketches/studies
I have to say they felt somewhat easy and fun compared to the Paintings I've done half a year back,
 yet they are still some little fun things I did on the side.

study from photo

In this progression I think you might see some evolution and how my technique is evolving,
but as always, I'm never quite satisfied with the things that I've got.

This now leads me to a rant about what happened this year and how my goals are progressing so stop reading here, it might get boring.

My goals were as follows:

1# To Create a stunning diploma, that I can be proud of and that could be sold with good consciousness. (The Work within that diploma is supposed to be my portfolio). 

2# To become super healthy and super fit. Which means that during these 800 days I want to do sports almost every day even if it is just 15 minutes of crunches and push-ups(weekends excluded). And to lose 25lbs for good, doing so.

3# To get a lot more organized and to work with more discipline.

Some of it went well, and some of it didn't as much. But still I feel like a different man right now.
Rereading some of the posts I did back then, showed me what kind of a jackass I am.
I have gotten a lot better, BUT I see so many fundamental shortcomings, that I haven't a year back. I am more critical than ever before. especially concerning perspective and three-dimensional construction of objects. But knowing how much you suck and where your problems are, is the first step on the Road to improvement.
Speaking about Problems, my "art-problems" seem to be insignificant compared to other constant temptations and another shadow above me. I'm my own worst enemy. There is no one else keeping me down like myself.
For one year i've been working on my second goal on and off. Recent days have been especially lazy because i finally after a very long time finished my flat. And it is finally completely ready and tidy too.
This was kind of a big break for the third goal, but none the less it meant a lot of stress and dealing with it solo as I do, meant looking back for old ways to deal with those.
And Hell, I enjoyed playing them games, and Valve's Summer sales were really mean, as always tends to get out of Hand.
This showed me that I need some kind of compensation to maintain a balance in my life.
Sure Painting and working can be fun, but there also needs to be an end to it some time. Some time to breathe, to refuel. Making a great career in this industry means to be working hard every day until you have your big break. Doesn't it? Maybe. But maybe it doesn't.
I've been Asking myself, what comes After my 800 Days of struggling. And I realized that it will never end unless I decide to. I asked myself what it was, that I wanted. What exactly is it that I want. And when i came to the root of it all it felt mundane.
I couldn't give a clear answer what my Dream was, and I realized I've been asked before.
It hit me. I couldn't specify anything about the job i'm running for. I've been moved into this spot by people who told me, that I was good at doing what I do. I've learned so much, and one of those things is that everyone can learn everything, if they really want. There have been plenty opportunities in my life. But it could be, that my course changes again. I love painting and the life that i'm able to live right now.
I'll keep on improving myself walking this path, but with a more open mind then ever before, looking for new Opportunities and Dreams.

have a great one  :)  

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